I decided to lump the two days across the prairie together into one entry, partly for convenience (as it was kind of one segment in my mind), and partly because the ride across was utterly

Now that I have that out of my system, I will close this chapter by saying that there was little of any consequence to report. No hills, no interesting road signs, not so much as a roadside attraction between Brandon and Regina. However, I would like to register my request that Saskatchewan (and for that matter, Indiana and Arizona) pick a timezone and stick with it. It's not hard. Is daylight savings time really that hard for any of the other 61 states, provinces, and territories that observe it, that you 3 holdouts can't get with the program? It's not that it is such an inconvenience to me; I have to change the watch sooner or later anyway, and I could just as easily do it at the Saskatchewan border as I can at the Alberta border. The problem is that the sign (and the line on the map, for that matter) is at the Alberta border. Are you to merrily let me cruise through your featureless southern fields without so much as telling me that my reality exists an hour ahead of everyone I encounter? Looking at this from a four-dimensional perspective, it is no wonder the girl at the ice cream stand missed my hand when she handed my change. My hand was an entire hour in her future. The ramifications of this really begin to astound me.

So Saskatchewan, could you please just put up a sign that says "There's no Savings in our Daylight" at the Manitoba border? Thank you in advance.

There is one other thing that I have discovered over the last few days that I will incorporate into a special feature for you now:

Dear Kyle—

Dead Bugs

While I certainly respect your cracker-jack opinion that dinosaurs are an invention of the man in an attempt to repress you or something, I want to share with you some hard, empirical evidence that they are every bit as real as the dead bugs smashed on my windshield.

I can see how you might be skeptical. After all, our reptilian predecessors left no written records and took only a few family photos to tell us of their passage here. In fact, until the other day, the only tangible evidence I could offer of their existence is the number 2 diesel fuel coursing through my engine.

But then, out of the blue one sunny day in Manitoba, I found irrefutible evidence that they really do exist, which I will now share with you. There is a town called Souris that has a living, breathing dinosaur. The name was so lost through the ages I didn't recognize it myself, but it is a well known fact that the modern spelling 'Souris' comes directly from the Olde Dinosourich 'saurus,' which, roughly translated, meant 'that tall, scaley feller over there.'

A real, live, Swingingbridgeosauris

The dino now masquerading as the 'Swinging Bridge of Souris' is in fact the last living Swingingbridgeosaurus. He is a friendly, helpful creature, much like the dinos of yore portrayed so amiably on The Flintstones. In olde times passed, these beasts of burden lifted heavy rocks for miners like Fred and pulled plows for farmers, but since this is the last living specimen the human Sourises have given him the relaxing, yet important, job of providing a pedestrian walkway across their river.

We had to deviate almost 30 minutes to see this relic of the Jurassic, but it was well worth it. We ran along his spiny back—there are wire handrails installed along his spine, to prevent you from plunging 4 feet into the placid, shallow waters below—and he giddily responded by wagging his tail. He swung us back and forth, up and down, which produced the same feeling as if we had drunk some Pteridactlager, but without the nasty hangover.

As if that first-hand account is not enough to convince you, I soon stumbled across an entire colony of Carnivoraptors at the West Edmonton Mall. Apparently there are sixty of the fearsome beasts living in communal bliss there, but I only actually saw two of them as they wanted $10 for admission to their community. And since the Canadian dollar has some actual value again, this was a substantial amount.

I hope that you will find this evidence compelling enough to stop hastily grouping dinosaurs into the same category as other mythical creatures like unicorns, penguins, and mermaids.

On another note, Jen says hi. Please say hello to Kim for me.

-Tim

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Notes:
1. Kyle Petau, unlike long-time TwiT reader Myrtle Knudesgarten, is not a mythical creature. He was my dinoheathen roommate on the ice.